I can't remember half the stuff I think about to put in my blog when I fire up the ol' browser and login to the site.
It's like my brain flushes the stuff right out of my head.
Let's see....
Did I mention we have a lot of pets now? I took our dog, Pepper, into the vet and she's now 4.1 pounds. Yes. Four point one pounds. I think that's about as big as we can expect her to get.
Tuffy, our cat, is 22.2 pounds. Yes, that's twenty two point two pounds.
You can see, we've switched the natural order of things in our house. The cat is huge and the dog is small.
Also, the cat is NOT overweight. According to the vet, he could stand to lose five pounds or so, but he's not obese. He's a BIG cat.
I was lugging Tuffy into the vet's office while Ben carried Pepper in behind me. Tuffy was in his dog-sized carrier. When the vet looked, he saw me struggling with the carrier. Later, he saw the carrier on the ground and Pepper in my arms.
Huh! The vet thought I had struggled with Pepper. What a riot. We laughed and laughed. Then, the vet had to go in the back and tell the assistants why we laughed so much.
Brittany's enjoying Moody Bible Institute, but she's too busy to bother with Mom and Dad anymore. She does call me when she either needs help with her laptop or needs us to do something for her. The worst part about the whole Brittany-being-gone-from-home deal is... well, there are a few bad things:
1) I don't have anyone to share my fruit smoothies with anymore. Barb only drinks a little bit of them.
2) No one bakes cookies for us anymore.
3) Brittany has not yet and will probably not experience home sickness. Apprently, she was far too ready to leave our happy little nest for bigger and better things.
4) We have to forward some mail to her still.
Bobby's a senior. I'm not sure what he's going to do next year.
We have an Albino African Frog. I think I mentioned him before. He's still eating live gold fish. I get him like 8 or so a week. He's growing quite large.
Did you know there are people dedicated to rescuing hermit crabs?
http://www.hermitcrabassociation.com/phpBB/index.php
Do people just have way too much expendable time on their hands? I would think these energies could go into other things like... oh say... feeding the hungry, taking care of the old and sick, and making sure orphaned children are cared for?
But no, the hermit crabs need rescuing instead. I'm going to start the Yeast Rescue Society. No baking bread that rises! Save the Yeast!
Are you a yeast killer? No making beer either! Shame on you yeasties!! Ban Nystatin! Yeast Rules!
Just send your non-tax deductable donations to the Yeast Rescue Society to me. I'll take all the money you want to send.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Thursday, September 07, 2006
My Dog Ate My Jury Summons
Well... she almost ate my jury summons. I found the summons on the floor in her play area. One corner of the summons was a tad chewed.
Had I not looked, I'd have totally missed the summons all together. I've learned since then, when the dog hears the mail man open the mail-slot in our door and push in a pile of letters onto our floor, I need to beat her to them. Otherwise, she'll grab some letters and "open" them.
Our dog, Pepper, weighed in at 3.6 pounds last Monday. I take her in to the Banefield vet clinic inside Petsmart this coming Monday. We're doing weekly shots until she's caught up.
Bobby, Ben, and Bekah started school today. Our neighbors across the street had their 4-year old start Kindergarten today, so they were out there with cameras, etc. You have to be careful with the Nazi bus drivers here in NY State. They'll yell at you, the parent, if you're not standing in the right spot.
For example, if I cross the street to greet my child, I'll get corrected by the bus driver. I'm not supposed to cross the street to greet her. My daughter is supposed to cross the street to our house under the direction of the bus driver.
Bekah's making me give Pepper a bath now.....
Had I not looked, I'd have totally missed the summons all together. I've learned since then, when the dog hears the mail man open the mail-slot in our door and push in a pile of letters onto our floor, I need to beat her to them. Otherwise, she'll grab some letters and "open" them.
Our dog, Pepper, weighed in at 3.6 pounds last Monday. I take her in to the Banefield vet clinic inside Petsmart this coming Monday. We're doing weekly shots until she's caught up.
Bobby, Ben, and Bekah started school today. Our neighbors across the street had their 4-year old start Kindergarten today, so they were out there with cameras, etc. You have to be careful with the Nazi bus drivers here in NY State. They'll yell at you, the parent, if you're not standing in the right spot.
For example, if I cross the street to greet my child, I'll get corrected by the bus driver. I'm not supposed to cross the street to greet her. My daughter is supposed to cross the street to our house under the direction of the bus driver.
Bekah's making me give Pepper a bath now.....
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Immoral Thoughts
I'm having immoral thoughts.
For example, is it immoral to put Snuggle brand fabric softener in a Downy brand fabric softener ball?
If you don't know what a Downy ball is, then click on this link:
http://www.downy.com/en_US/products/downyball.jsp
I have a confession to make. I've been doing it -- putting Snuggle brand fabric softener in my Downy Ball. I feel so immoral and cheap, but I just can't help myself.
My puppy poops in the house. I'm trying to teach her to poop outside, but I think it's hard for a small dog to poop. Well, I just read on a web-site they don't have full control of their sphincter until they're about 4 months old. Pepper's not there yet.
Well, I need to consider other moral issues, like can you put Pepsi in a Coke glass? Things like this keep me busy day in and day out.
Maybe I'll go eat some Japanese food for lunch today. Now, that's a segway if I ever wrote one.
For example, is it immoral to put Snuggle brand fabric softener in a Downy brand fabric softener ball?
If you don't know what a Downy ball is, then click on this link:
http://www.downy.com/en_US/products/downyball.jsp
I have a confession to make. I've been doing it -- putting Snuggle brand fabric softener in my Downy Ball. I feel so immoral and cheap, but I just can't help myself.
My puppy poops in the house. I'm trying to teach her to poop outside, but I think it's hard for a small dog to poop. Well, I just read on a web-site they don't have full control of their sphincter until they're about 4 months old. Pepper's not there yet.
Well, I need to consider other moral issues, like can you put Pepsi in a Coke glass? Things like this keep me busy day in and day out.
Maybe I'll go eat some Japanese food for lunch today. Now, that's a segway if I ever wrote one.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Long, Long, Time
Well, I stopped blogging in May because I left my job at Key Bank and didn't want to blog again until I got another job.
I'm happy to say I started a new job as a Senior Systems Development Specialist at a new company last week.
The problem with Key Bank is I was a bad fit. You see, they only have about 20 minutes of work to do each day. I wanted to be busy all day. That was a bad match up.
I found it difficult to try to look busy for 7:40 hours per day when you have nothing to do. I felt like I was in the USAF again -- doing nothing all day long.
Actually, I left Key in April, but I worked for Amici for about a month as a 1099 consultant. Amici didn't renew my contract because Xerox was in the process of buying them out.
As far as everyone at Amici -- I mean Xerox -- goes, nothing's changed. It's the same place. Well, Xerox instantiated a drug testing policy. I know of one guy in particular who was a tremendous worker who had to leave. Druggie!
I had a great summer, though. I love being unemployed. It's like a big vacation.
My last week at Amici, Barb came down with Mono. She's still suffering from it. That was in late-May.
I became a house-husband -- cooking (very little, I might add), cleaning (some), laundry (lots and lots and lots), etc. I just made sure I kept Barb in bottled water and Kellogg's brand Pop Tarts.
I also did a lot of work around the house (and am still doing it). For one, I replaced our broken garbage disposal. I've been organizing and cleaning the basement, I'm replacing the broken glass in the garage door, I've painted a few things, etc.
We had a new sidewalk poured in the front of our house. That's our responsibility. The Village of Scotia, NY is good about that. They let us take care of all of the public-works maintenance at our own expense.
I'm having the driveway sealed today. It needs to be done. What more can I say?
We now have a LOT of pets.
First off, Ben decided he absolutely had to have a snake -- a corn snake to be specific. Now, you might think a CORN snake eats corn, but they don't. They don't look like corn, smell like corn, feel like corn, or taste like corn. As far as I can tell, they don't even sound like corn.
Ben joined some Internet forums and became an instant Corn Snake expert. He knows their habits, living conditions, diet, common medical issues, etc. Ben even got Bekah all excited about the snake.
Yeah. I bought him one at Petsmart. It's up stairs in Ben's room doing whatever corn snakes do best.
We have to feed the snake very small frozen mice called "pinkies". They're called "pinkies" because they're all pink with no fur. They're $9.99 for only six (6) at Petsmart.
I decided that would not work, and since Bekah was all excited about getting more pets -- especially mice -- we got some.
Buying mice at Petsmart is a major pain in the neck. First, they often don't have any. Second, they ONLY carry one sex per store. They have all female and all male stores. I had to call all the Petsmarts in the area and travel miles and miles and miles, but I got one male and two female mice.
We're on our second set of babies now. I still have eight (8) living babies from the first set. I chose all solid-colored mice for this set. They're okay. One mom is still pregnant, but I have about 10 pinkie-fuzzies (the next level up from pinkies is fuzzies) in a cage right now.
We have an African Albino Frog. I bought it from our local Scotia Fish Store -- "Something's Fishy" in July. Bekah loved it for a few hours, but you can't hold an African Albino Frog in your hands and pet it.
It started out at about an inch long. It's now about 3 inches long. The pet store owner dude told me, "Don't put the frog in with any other fish."
I thought it was to protect the frog. WRONG! It's to protect the fish. These frogs are like Oscars. They'll eat ANYTHING they can fit in their mouths. This frog is supposed to keep growing and growing and growing and growing.
He's fun though. I put 8 feeder guppies in with him on Friday. Two are left. I need to buy more tomorrow.
We have a Betta fish, a gold fish, two silver mollies, a white Cory catfish, and two Placastamuses.
You already know we have a cat that's about 25 pounds named Tuffy, right? Well, he's not very loving really. Tuffy eats, poops and pees, sleeps, and begs for cold cuts when we open the fridge. That's it.
We finally broke down and got her a dog. Her name is Pepper and she's half miniature pinscher and half chihuahua. She was 2.8 pounds at the vet's office a couple of weeks ago. I'd say she's topped 3 pounds by now.
Other than the fact she's still not house broken, I really like this dog.
Barb drove Brittany and Bekah up to Chicago earlier this month. I don't know when they're going to return, but it's just me, the boys, and the pets here at the house.
Brittany starts school at Moody Bible Institute today. Bekah must be home by September 6th to start school, so I expect them by then. Barb is visiting with her sister and parents who all live very near Chicago. Bekah's been playing hard with her cousin, Sarah, who is the same age as Bekah.
In my new job, I get to work from home most of the time. I'll be developing software for the business. I'm sure I'm going to really enjoy working in this new position, and I'll be learning some very marketable skills as well.
I promise to write more soon.
I'm happy to say I started a new job as a Senior Systems Development Specialist at a new company last week.
The problem with Key Bank is I was a bad fit. You see, they only have about 20 minutes of work to do each day. I wanted to be busy all day. That was a bad match up.
I found it difficult to try to look busy for 7:40 hours per day when you have nothing to do. I felt like I was in the USAF again -- doing nothing all day long.
Actually, I left Key in April, but I worked for Amici for about a month as a 1099 consultant. Amici didn't renew my contract because Xerox was in the process of buying them out.
As far as everyone at Amici -- I mean Xerox -- goes, nothing's changed. It's the same place. Well, Xerox instantiated a drug testing policy. I know of one guy in particular who was a tremendous worker who had to leave. Druggie!
I had a great summer, though. I love being unemployed. It's like a big vacation.
My last week at Amici, Barb came down with Mono. She's still suffering from it. That was in late-May.
I became a house-husband -- cooking (very little, I might add), cleaning (some), laundry (lots and lots and lots), etc. I just made sure I kept Barb in bottled water and Kellogg's brand Pop Tarts.
I also did a lot of work around the house (and am still doing it). For one, I replaced our broken garbage disposal. I've been organizing and cleaning the basement, I'm replacing the broken glass in the garage door, I've painted a few things, etc.
We had a new sidewalk poured in the front of our house. That's our responsibility. The Village of Scotia, NY is good about that. They let us take care of all of the public-works maintenance at our own expense.
I'm having the driveway sealed today. It needs to be done. What more can I say?
We now have a LOT of pets.
First off, Ben decided he absolutely had to have a snake -- a corn snake to be specific. Now, you might think a CORN snake eats corn, but they don't. They don't look like corn, smell like corn, feel like corn, or taste like corn. As far as I can tell, they don't even sound like corn.
Ben joined some Internet forums and became an instant Corn Snake expert. He knows their habits, living conditions, diet, common medical issues, etc. Ben even got Bekah all excited about the snake.
Yeah. I bought him one at Petsmart. It's up stairs in Ben's room doing whatever corn snakes do best.
We have to feed the snake very small frozen mice called "pinkies". They're called "pinkies" because they're all pink with no fur. They're $9.99 for only six (6) at Petsmart.
I decided that would not work, and since Bekah was all excited about getting more pets -- especially mice -- we got some.
Buying mice at Petsmart is a major pain in the neck. First, they often don't have any. Second, they ONLY carry one sex per store. They have all female and all male stores. I had to call all the Petsmarts in the area and travel miles and miles and miles, but I got one male and two female mice.
We're on our second set of babies now. I still have eight (8) living babies from the first set. I chose all solid-colored mice for this set. They're okay. One mom is still pregnant, but I have about 10 pinkie-fuzzies (the next level up from pinkies is fuzzies) in a cage right now.
We have an African Albino Frog. I bought it from our local Scotia Fish Store -- "Something's Fishy" in July. Bekah loved it for a few hours, but you can't hold an African Albino Frog in your hands and pet it.
It started out at about an inch long. It's now about 3 inches long. The pet store owner dude told me, "Don't put the frog in with any other fish."
I thought it was to protect the frog. WRONG! It's to protect the fish. These frogs are like Oscars. They'll eat ANYTHING they can fit in their mouths. This frog is supposed to keep growing and growing and growing and growing.
He's fun though. I put 8 feeder guppies in with him on Friday. Two are left. I need to buy more tomorrow.
We have a Betta fish, a gold fish, two silver mollies, a white Cory catfish, and two Placastamuses.
You already know we have a cat that's about 25 pounds named Tuffy, right? Well, he's not very loving really. Tuffy eats, poops and pees, sleeps, and begs for cold cuts when we open the fridge. That's it.
We finally broke down and got her a dog. Her name is Pepper and she's half miniature pinscher and half chihuahua. She was 2.8 pounds at the vet's office a couple of weeks ago. I'd say she's topped 3 pounds by now.
Other than the fact she's still not house broken, I really like this dog.
Barb drove Brittany and Bekah up to Chicago earlier this month. I don't know when they're going to return, but it's just me, the boys, and the pets here at the house.
Brittany starts school at Moody Bible Institute today. Bekah must be home by September 6th to start school, so I expect them by then. Barb is visiting with her sister and parents who all live very near Chicago. Bekah's been playing hard with her cousin, Sarah, who is the same age as Bekah.
In my new job, I get to work from home most of the time. I'll be developing software for the business. I'm sure I'm going to really enjoy working in this new position, and I'll be learning some very marketable skills as well.
I promise to write more soon.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
More is not necessarily better
Bulldog and I were chatting about something the other day where the manufacturer added more things to the thingy. I can't remember what it was, and that's driving me nuts. I do; however, know our US razor manufacturers are adding more blades to t heir razors.
When will it ever end? I think there's a five-bladed razor out there now! One day, we're going to have this yard-stick long razor you run over your face once and leave bone and gristly. You'll never need to shave again!
More marshmallows in our Lucky Charms™ (they're magically delicious!)? I don't know. I can't remember. Man, it's driving me nuts!
I'm going out tonight "with the boys". We're having dinner and then seeing V For Vendetta. The last movie we all saw together wasn't all that good in my humble opinion (Ultra Violet). I don't know anyone who actually like Ultra Violet.
After the movie, I'm supposed to pick up my sister, Karen, from the airport. She's coming in on Northwest flight 1514 at 10:32pm. I have to go to the Albany airport and pick her up because her husband, Rod, is having "a procedure" done today.
Karen wouldn't tell me what "a procedure" is other than he can't drive for a day or so after it occurs. I know for a fact Rod was "fixed" a long time ago, so it can't be that. I guess I'll never know. It's like, "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie-Pop™?"
There are just some things mankind is fated not to know. At least I'm fated not to know them, in the case of Rod. I'm sure Rod knows... and possibly even Karen -- his wife.
We have friends who are missionaries in Cameroon, Africa visiting on Friday night. I'll have to put all my booze and porn away for their visit (just kidding.... I'll leave it out for them to enjoy too.... Mwa haa haa... just kidding again...).
I've known the woman, Yezmin, since I was a freshman in college. Wow. Twenty-six years! Barb (I mean Evil) has known her longer. They have the most interesting stories to tell, as you can imagine. A lot of their stories have to do with just *being* a missionary and cultural stuff.
Brittany just phoned me. She's been accepted into Moody Bible Institute! Wow. What a terrific kid. She did very well this year in school (Schenectady County Community College), but she wants to go to Moody now.
Moody's tuition is free (zero dollars and zero cents). However, you do need to pay for room and board. Still, it's a good deal cheaper than schools that are less-than-free. Brittany's going to study teaching English as a second language. I hope it's a good experience for her.
Brittany really needs to get out of the house for a bit. She (being the Evil Overlord In Training or the OIT for short) has conflicts with Pure Evil herself ooccasionon. The conflicts primarily focus on When-Is-A-Good-Time-To-Mess-Up-Evil's-Kitchen-By-Baking-Chocolate-Chip-Cookies and the like. Still, I think the OIT will enjoy "being on her own some."
No fear, Bekah is becoming more Evil every day. I will get to enjoy many, many more years of burgeoning Evil in my house.
I'm excited!
When will it ever end? I think there's a five-bladed razor out there now! One day, we're going to have this yard-stick long razor you run over your face once and leave bone and gristly. You'll never need to shave again!
More marshmallows in our Lucky Charms™ (they're magically delicious!)? I don't know. I can't remember. Man, it's driving me nuts!
I'm going out tonight "with the boys". We're having dinner and then seeing V For Vendetta. The last movie we all saw together wasn't all that good in my humble opinion (Ultra Violet). I don't know anyone who actually like Ultra Violet.
After the movie, I'm supposed to pick up my sister, Karen, from the airport. She's coming in on Northwest flight 1514 at 10:32pm. I have to go to the Albany airport and pick her up because her husband, Rod, is having "a procedure" done today.
Karen wouldn't tell me what "a procedure" is other than he can't drive for a day or so after it occurs. I know for a fact Rod was "fixed" a long time ago, so it can't be that. I guess I'll never know. It's like, "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie-Pop™?"
There are just some things mankind is fated not to know. At least I'm fated not to know them, in the case of Rod. I'm sure Rod knows... and possibly even Karen -- his wife.
We have friends who are missionaries in Cameroon, Africa visiting on Friday night. I'll have to put all my booze and porn away for their visit (just kidding.... I'll leave it out for them to enjoy too.... Mwa haa haa... just kidding again...).
I've known the woman, Yezmin, since I was a freshman in college. Wow. Twenty-six years! Barb (I mean Evil) has known her longer. They have the most interesting stories to tell, as you can imagine. A lot of their stories have to do with just *being* a missionary and cultural stuff.
Brittany just phoned me. She's been accepted into Moody Bible Institute! Wow. What a terrific kid. She did very well this year in school (Schenectady County Community College), but she wants to go to Moody now.
Moody's tuition is free (zero dollars and zero cents). However, you do need to pay for room and board. Still, it's a good deal cheaper than schools that are less-than-free. Brittany's going to study teaching English as a second language. I hope it's a good experience for her.
Brittany really needs to get out of the house for a bit. She (being the Evil Overlord In Training or the OIT for short) has conflicts with Pure Evil herself ooccasionon. The conflicts primarily focus on When-Is-A-Good-Time-To-Mess-Up-Evil's-Kitchen-By-Baking-Chocolate-Chip-Cookies and the like. Still, I think the OIT will enjoy "being on her own some."
No fear, Bekah is becoming more Evil every day. I will get to enjoy many, many more years of burgeoning Evil in my house.
I'm excited!
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Door Technology
At work, I open the door with this 1980's technology slider card. I mean, we went to proximity cards at Microsoft in the mid-90's and that was late. Amici had proximity cards when I got there, but here at the bank, we're still in the 80's per door technology.
Regardless, the door usually opens on the second or third try, so I'm fairly happy. I think some kind of super-duper magnet holds the door closed. You can't jerk the doors open. Those magnets are powerful!
I've never had a door "lock" on me going out. I get near it, the motion detector does its job, and I am able to leave. Not in all the many years I've been using magnetically sealed doors have I been sealed in.
I think that's pretty good. Door technology must be fairly mature. You never hear about door technology. Who writes, like in the Wall Street Journal or something, about the latest breakthroughs in door technology. "Nobel Scientist, Robert Smarts, invented a new door mechanism...." You just don't see that.
Why not? What makes door technology so mundane and uninteresting? Who, in fact, works on door engineering? I've never met a door engineer, "Hi, I'm Ben and I work for an engineering firm making magnets for doors...." Where are they?
Bekah had a tooth pulled yesterday. It was an infected baby-tooth with an abscess. They're going to have to put in a spacer for the adult tooth to have a place to grow. We had a orthodontist examine Bekah last week. She's gonna need a lot of work.
They told us to feed her ice cream last night. I think she enjoyed going hog-wild with ice cream for once. However, Bekah can't use a straw or spit. Why can't you spit or suck through a straw when you have a tooth extracted? That seems strange to me.
Regardless, the door usually opens on the second or third try, so I'm fairly happy. I think some kind of super-duper magnet holds the door closed. You can't jerk the doors open. Those magnets are powerful!
I've never had a door "lock" on me going out. I get near it, the motion detector does its job, and I am able to leave. Not in all the many years I've been using magnetically sealed doors have I been sealed in.
I think that's pretty good. Door technology must be fairly mature. You never hear about door technology. Who writes, like in the Wall Street Journal or something, about the latest breakthroughs in door technology. "Nobel Scientist, Robert Smarts, invented a new door mechanism...." You just don't see that.
Why not? What makes door technology so mundane and uninteresting? Who, in fact, works on door engineering? I've never met a door engineer, "Hi, I'm Ben and I work for an engineering firm making magnets for doors...." Where are they?
Bekah had a tooth pulled yesterday. It was an infected baby-tooth with an abscess. They're going to have to put in a spacer for the adult tooth to have a place to grow. We had a orthodontist examine Bekah last week. She's gonna need a lot of work.
They told us to feed her ice cream last night. I think she enjoyed going hog-wild with ice cream for once. However, Bekah can't use a straw or spit. Why can't you spit or suck through a straw when you have a tooth extracted? That seems strange to me.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Stupid Blogspot
I just spent 20 min writing a nice post, and it's gone. Apparently, you can't spell-check without losing your entire stupid post.
What a waste of time.
What a waste of time.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Bulldog Barb
My wife, Barb, is an avid Sudoku puzzle solver. She can solve even the very hard Sudoku puzzles. I can't. I can only solve the easy ones. After that, when you have to guess, I get confused. Was that a 5 or a 7 I was thinking might go in that spot? I always guess wrong and end up erasing half the sheet and getting lost. Now, where was I?
Barb, on the other hand, is like a bulldog. She sits in her chair and pencils in the numbers. Barb has a system. She developed it herself. The system involves trial and error, but it works. She gets the Sudoku's solved. I have to go online and print out the Daily Sudoku for Barb every day now.
Barb's stubborn like a bulldog. I think I'll call her Bulldog Barb for a while. I still might use the term Evil Overlord to describe her. Perhaps I'll intermix the two terms. When Barb is being stubborn (which happens frequently), I'll call her Bulldog Barb or just Bulldog.
When Barb's being evil, I'll call her The Evil Overlord or just Evil.
Truthfully, Barb's not as evil as she once was. I think I might be slipping and sliding over to The Dark Side and getting used to Evil. Regardless, I'm thinking Barb is less evil than in the past. Perhaps, Evil-Lite, or Low-Calorie Evil, or "I Can't Believe It's Not Evil" Evil.
Bobby (Bob) is growing out his hair. Bulldog tells me my neice mentioned that she thinks guys with really short hair look bad. Now Bobby is growing his hair. He doesn't really know what he's going to do with his h air, yet. Bobby's hair doesn't do too well semi-long. His hair grows straight out, so now instead of having neat, short hair, he has a "monkey head".
Anyway, my monkey-headed son has been getting up early in the morning to shower. Apparently, Bobby's aware his head can become monkey-like if he's slept on it, so he showers before school. Personally, I think he's going to lose the battle.
Perhaps, I'll toss Bob a banana tonight when I see him.
Evil pulled a good trick last night. She called me on my way home. She'd not gone out all day, so we were out of milk. Likewise, I needed to stop at my mom's house and pick up some beef stew my mom had made. I think the Sudoku was extra-hard yesterday.
I stopped at Mommy's and got my stew and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I called my step-fater, Ralph, "ugly" and left. I went by Stewarts and picked up two gallons of 1% milk. Milk is only $2.19 at Stewarts -- about the cheapest around these parts. Plus, if you buy five gallons of milk, you get a half-gallon of milk or orange juice for free. I usually get either chocolate milk or orange juice.
When I got home, I found Monkey-Head-Boy laying in his bed. He planned to take a nap and get up and do his homework. I told him we had beef stew and lasagna for dinner. He said, "Mom made beef stew?"
"No, you grandmother did. And my sister made the lasagna. Don't you just love living near my family?"
I know I do.
Barb, on the other hand, is like a bulldog. She sits in her chair and pencils in the numbers. Barb has a system. She developed it herself. The system involves trial and error, but it works. She gets the Sudoku's solved. I have to go online and print out the Daily Sudoku for Barb every day now.
Barb's stubborn like a bulldog. I think I'll call her Bulldog Barb for a while. I still might use the term Evil Overlord to describe her. Perhaps I'll intermix the two terms. When Barb is being stubborn (which happens frequently), I'll call her Bulldog Barb or just Bulldog.
When Barb's being evil, I'll call her The Evil Overlord or just Evil.
Truthfully, Barb's not as evil as she once was. I think I might be slipping and sliding over to The Dark Side and getting used to Evil. Regardless, I'm thinking Barb is less evil than in the past. Perhaps, Evil-Lite, or Low-Calorie Evil, or "I Can't Believe It's Not Evil" Evil.
Bobby (Bob) is growing out his hair. Bulldog tells me my neice mentioned that she thinks guys with really short hair look bad. Now Bobby is growing his hair. He doesn't really know what he's going to do with his h air, yet. Bobby's hair doesn't do too well semi-long. His hair grows straight out, so now instead of having neat, short hair, he has a "monkey head".
Anyway, my monkey-headed son has been getting up early in the morning to shower. Apparently, Bobby's aware his head can become monkey-like if he's slept on it, so he showers before school. Personally, I think he's going to lose the battle.
Perhaps, I'll toss Bob a banana tonight when I see him.
Evil pulled a good trick last night. She called me on my way home. She'd not gone out all day, so we were out of milk. Likewise, I needed to stop at my mom's house and pick up some beef stew my mom had made. I think the Sudoku was extra-hard yesterday.
I stopped at Mommy's and got my stew and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I called my step-fater, Ralph, "ugly" and left. I went by Stewarts and picked up two gallons of 1% milk. Milk is only $2.19 at Stewarts -- about the cheapest around these parts. Plus, if you buy five gallons of milk, you get a half-gallon of milk or orange juice for free. I usually get either chocolate milk or orange juice.
When I got home, I found Monkey-Head-Boy laying in his bed. He planned to take a nap and get up and do his homework. I told him we had beef stew and lasagna for dinner. He said, "Mom made beef stew?"
"No, you grandmother did. And my sister made the lasagna. Don't you just love living near my family?"
I know I do.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Dangerous Deodorant and Duct Tape
Saturday night my son, Bob, asks me, "Dad, where's the duct tape?"
"What do you need duct tape for?"
"I'll tell you later. Where is it please?"
"I don't know. Try...." and I listed a bunch of places to try. Bob looked and looked. Normally, Bob isn't this interested in home repair items. Likewise, Bob's interest seemed "intense".
Bob finally found the duct tape because he stopped bothering me over it. I saw the tape in his bedroom the next morning.
That afternoon, I asked Bob, "Why did you need this duct tape?"
"I don't really want to tell you."
Ben pipes in, "Let me tell, let me tell!"
"Okay," says the Bob-meister.
"Well, Dad, you see Bobby got mad at me for winning a game of Star Wars: Empire at War, so he threw his deodorant at the wall. The deodorant hit the side of the wall with a glancing blow and smashed into the window. Bobby broke the window here, see?"
Ben pulled up the blinds and there, staring me in the face, was a large patch of duct tape holding the bedroom window together. I'd say the size is about 8" by 10". Yeah.
I look at Bob and laugh and laugh. He grins and says, "The room was getting really cold, so I had to tape it fast!"
I just kept laughing.
Generally, your children will destroy your possessions. Destroyed things are part and parcel for having kids. You have kids, your good stuff will break.
The Irish Wolfhound folks say you can expect to pay, in replacement parts and bits, the same amount of money you paid for your dog. For example, if you paid $1,500 for an Irish Wolfhound puppy, you'll spend another $1,500 replacing chewed remote controls, shoes, etc. A full grown Irish Wolfhound can reach the top of your refrigerator, so nothing's safe.
I suppose with kids, it's about the same. However, in all fairness, I don't recall Bob ever breaking anything before. Likewise, I didn't know Mennen™ brand Speed Stick™ deodorant could be a dangerous projectile in the hands of an irate 17-year old boy.
Who knew?
I suppose if I ever do get around to replacing this window -- which faces the back of the house and no one will ever see -- it'll cost me about $150.00. In the meantime, I'm in no hurry to spend the cash and the boys are fine with a duct taped window.
Duct tape really is an amazing thing.
"What do you need duct tape for?"
"I'll tell you later. Where is it please?"
"I don't know. Try...." and I listed a bunch of places to try. Bob looked and looked. Normally, Bob isn't this interested in home repair items. Likewise, Bob's interest seemed "intense".
Bob finally found the duct tape because he stopped bothering me over it. I saw the tape in his bedroom the next morning.
That afternoon, I asked Bob, "Why did you need this duct tape?"
"I don't really want to tell you."
Ben pipes in, "Let me tell, let me tell!"
"Okay," says the Bob-meister.
"Well, Dad, you see Bobby got mad at me for winning a game of Star Wars: Empire at War, so he threw his deodorant at the wall. The deodorant hit the side of the wall with a glancing blow and smashed into the window. Bobby broke the window here, see?"
Ben pulled up the blinds and there, staring me in the face, was a large patch of duct tape holding the bedroom window together. I'd say the size is about 8" by 10". Yeah.
I look at Bob and laugh and laugh. He grins and says, "The room was getting really cold, so I had to tape it fast!"
I just kept laughing.
Generally, your children will destroy your possessions. Destroyed things are part and parcel for having kids. You have kids, your good stuff will break.
The Irish Wolfhound folks say you can expect to pay, in replacement parts and bits, the same amount of money you paid for your dog. For example, if you paid $1,500 for an Irish Wolfhound puppy, you'll spend another $1,500 replacing chewed remote controls, shoes, etc. A full grown Irish Wolfhound can reach the top of your refrigerator, so nothing's safe.
I suppose with kids, it's about the same. However, in all fairness, I don't recall Bob ever breaking anything before. Likewise, I didn't know Mennen™ brand Speed Stick™ deodorant could be a dangerous projectile in the hands of an irate 17-year old boy.
Who knew?
I suppose if I ever do get around to replacing this window -- which faces the back of the house and no one will ever see -- it'll cost me about $150.00. In the meantime, I'm in no hurry to spend the cash and the boys are fine with a duct taped window.
Duct tape really is an amazing thing.
Friday, March 17, 2006
Star Wars: Empire At War
So, I got this new PC-based video game: Star Wars: Empire At War.
It's pretty cool. I think the game AI needs some upgrades, but overall, it's a very nice game.
The moment I installed it, my son Ben was begging me to play him in a battle. He bought the game a couple weeks before I did.
We played. Ben wiped the floor with me. Bobby tried to play for me, but then it was Bobby playing not me. So, my 12-year old son beat the snot out of me in a video game.
Sometimes, life just isn't fair.
I'm going to actually learn how to play the game and beat Ben to a quivering, boneless pulp in the near future. You just watch me.
Some chick calls for Bobby about three weekends ago. She's like, "Hello, is Bob there."
I'm like, "Barb?"
"Bob"
"Oh, Bobby!"
I just can't stop calling him Bobby even though his voice is pretty deep now. Bob's voice has been deep for a long time. Ben's voice is just starting to crack now. I can remember when my voice changed. I was about 14-years old.
I remember my step-sister Bonnie called us on the phone. I answered and made sure to use my new deep-voice when I learned it was Bonnie. My mom laughed at me. Laugh all you will Mommy, but I'm a old man now who's had this deep voice for like 30-years now. Mwa haa haa!
Ben's voice is cracking and he's starting to get a bit tall. I'm sure he hasn't hit his major growth period yet. Of course, as Bekah keeps informing us on a regular basis, she's going though a growth spurt. Hence, whenever Bekah's hungry, it's because of the growth spurt. Nevermind if she didn't eat well at dinner or just wants a snack.
It's pretty cool. I think the game AI needs some upgrades, but overall, it's a very nice game.
The moment I installed it, my son Ben was begging me to play him in a battle. He bought the game a couple weeks before I did.
We played. Ben wiped the floor with me. Bobby tried to play for me, but then it was Bobby playing not me. So, my 12-year old son beat the snot out of me in a video game.
Sometimes, life just isn't fair.
I'm going to actually learn how to play the game and beat Ben to a quivering, boneless pulp in the near future. You just watch me.
Some chick calls for Bobby about three weekends ago. She's like, "Hello, is Bob there."
I'm like, "Barb?"
"Bob"
"Oh, Bobby!"
I just can't stop calling him Bobby even though his voice is pretty deep now. Bob's voice has been deep for a long time. Ben's voice is just starting to crack now. I can remember when my voice changed. I was about 14-years old.
I remember my step-sister Bonnie called us on the phone. I answered and made sure to use my new deep-voice when I learned it was Bonnie. My mom laughed at me. Laugh all you will Mommy, but I'm a old man now who's had this deep voice for like 30-years now. Mwa haa haa!
Ben's voice is cracking and he's starting to get a bit tall. I'm sure he hasn't hit his major growth period yet. Of course, as Bekah keeps informing us on a regular basis, she's going though a growth spurt. Hence, whenever Bekah's hungry, it's because of the growth spurt. Nevermind if she didn't eat well at dinner or just wants a snack.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
I Bite The Cheese
Bekah, my 7-year old, had to use up her spelling words in a story. She chose to write about our house:
My house is big and white. When my friends come over to visit, they always smile.
I love to play in my house. It is a nice house. I bite the cheese.
Apparently, Bekah had the words "bite" and "cheese" left over and decided to add to her story.
We now use the term when you have nothing else to say. Instead of SuperCaliFragilisticExpiAllaDocious, it's much easier to yell out, "I bite the cheese!"
Happy biting.
My house is big and white. When my friends come over to visit, they always smile.
I love to play in my house. It is a nice house. I bite the cheese.
Apparently, Bekah had the words "bite" and "cheese" left over and decided to add to her story.
We now use the term when you have nothing else to say. Instead of SuperCaliFragilisticExpiAllaDocious, it's much easier to yell out, "I bite the cheese!"
Happy biting.
Paint Dry
I know, waiting for me to update my blog is like watching paint dry.
Well, the thing is, I've just not *felt* like adding anything to my blog lately.
Let's see:
1. I got a new job at a bank. I'm a systems analyst now. I was a software developer, but this new job has some definite points over the old:
a. The mimimum work week is 40 hours instead of 50 hours.
b. I get paid a lot more money than I made before.
c. Retirement benefits here are much, much better.
d. Much less stressful work environment.
2. Bekah's been going through a big growth spurt. How do I know? She told me. We stopped a Burger King™ a few days ago to get Brittany a salad and shake. I bought Ben and Bekah each an Icee™ drink. I got myself a jumbo-sized chocolate shake.
We'd just had dinner about an hour earlier, but Brittany had missed it. As we pulled out, Bekah whined, "Why didn't you get me any fries, dad? I'm hungry."
"You just had dinner!"
"I'm going through a growth spurt. I need a lot of food."
So, I pulled into KFC™ and got her some potato wedges and myself and Ben a KFC Snaker™.
Don't you like all my TMs?™
3. I had a very interesting conversation with my son Bob the other day. He was filling out his course requests for next year in High School. He'll be a Senior™ (I just felt like putting a TM there for no particular reason).
Anyway, I told Bob to "take it easy" his senior year. Don't over do it son. Take as *few* classes as possible to graduate. You'll be able to pick up classes in college, etc.
So, what does my disobedient son do? He signs up for 6.5 credits instead of the minimum 5.5! Not only that, but he specifically writes a letter to the head of the English department and asks to be part of the AP English class! Not only that, but he signs up to take the highest level Math class available.
We had this conversation the next day, "I'm sorry dad. I signed up for more classes than I needed."
I'm like, "I never expected to have my son apologize to me for taking too many classes in High School."
Well, the thing is, I've just not *felt* like adding anything to my blog lately.
Let's see:
1. I got a new job at a bank. I'm a systems analyst now. I was a software developer, but this new job has some definite points over the old:
a. The mimimum work week is 40 hours instead of 50 hours.
b. I get paid a lot more money than I made before.
c. Retirement benefits here are much, much better.
d. Much less stressful work environment.
2. Bekah's been going through a big growth spurt. How do I know? She told me. We stopped a Burger King™ a few days ago to get Brittany a salad and shake. I bought Ben and Bekah each an Icee™ drink. I got myself a jumbo-sized chocolate shake.
We'd just had dinner about an hour earlier, but Brittany had missed it. As we pulled out, Bekah whined, "Why didn't you get me any fries, dad? I'm hungry."
"You just had dinner!"
"I'm going through a growth spurt. I need a lot of food."
So, I pulled into KFC™ and got her some potato wedges and myself and Ben a KFC Snaker™.
Don't you like all my TMs?™
3. I had a very interesting conversation with my son Bob the other day. He was filling out his course requests for next year in High School. He'll be a Senior™ (I just felt like putting a TM there for no particular reason).
Anyway, I told Bob to "take it easy" his senior year. Don't over do it son. Take as *few* classes as possible to graduate. You'll be able to pick up classes in college, etc.
So, what does my disobedient son do? He signs up for 6.5 credits instead of the minimum 5.5! Not only that, but he specifically writes a letter to the head of the English department and asks to be part of the AP English class! Not only that, but he signs up to take the highest level Math class available.
We had this conversation the next day, "I'm sorry dad. I signed up for more classes than I needed."
I'm like, "I never expected to have my son apologize to me for taking too many classes in High School."
Sunday, January 29, 2006
New Job
I'm leaving my job at Amici LLC. I'll be working for Key Bank here in the Albany area starting on February 13th.
I'm pretty excited about the new job. I won't be a Software Developer any longer. I'll be a Systems Analyst.
Just a quick update. I need to write more, but I'm tired and don't feel well today.
I'm pretty excited about the new job. I won't be a Software Developer any longer. I'll be a Systems Analyst.
Just a quick update. I need to write more, but I'm tired and don't feel well today.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Tragedy Struck This Morning
Tragedy struck my personage this morning. I forgot my coffee.
I woke up late. My Evil Overlord saved the day by waking me up. I barely had time to dress, eat, and get in the car before leaving for the bus. However, even then, I poured myself a steaming hot cup of coffee for the bus ride into Albany.
And, what do you know? The coffee stayed in my kitchen.
As I was walking from the parking lot to the bus stop in Schenectady, I had a fantasy where Evil drives up in her mini-van with my long lost cup of coffee in her wonderful little hands, "Here honey, you left this full aromatic cup of coffee on the kitchen counter. I knew you'd want it and forgot it, so I brought it to you."
"Thank you darling, you're the best thing that every happened to me," I'd reply, deliriously.
That didn't happen. Instead, that "special needs" guy got off his bus, gave me a hug, and proceeded to tell me all about how one of his neighbors didn't play her music too loud last night and how happy he is over that fact.
I couldn't keep my eyes off his Orlando Bloom calendar. You know, if I were a rabid fan of Orlando Bloom, I wouldn't carry his calendar around in public. I'd put it in a wrapper. Not only that, but I wouldn't put a calendar of Orlando Bloom in my office and tell people it was my calendar.
Don't get me wrong, I like Orlando Bloom -- just not enough to have a calendar of his that I would claim as my own. Now, I could definitely go for a Claudia Black calendar. Yeah. You won't see Claudia Black and Orlando Bloom mentioned in the same sentence often.
Ever notice men don't often use smiley-faces in their writing? I think I'm correct in this, but I don't believe a man has ever written to me and put a smiley-face on his message. Women do, but not men.
Men use icon-smiley-faces in their instant messages. I avoid doing that, but my co-worker uses smiley's a lot in his IM's to me. The practice is rubbing off on me. I actually used one yesterday.
However, I didn't hand draw a smiley. I believe there is an unwritten "rule of manhood" that says, "Don't Draw Smiley's. It's not manly-man."
With that, I'll leave you now. I need to sing the "Man Song" for a bit. The "Man Song" goes:
Men, men, men men
Men, men, men, men
Men, men, men, men
Men, men, men, men
(repeat the chorus)
---Dan---
I woke up late. My Evil Overlord saved the day by waking me up. I barely had time to dress, eat, and get in the car before leaving for the bus. However, even then, I poured myself a steaming hot cup of coffee for the bus ride into Albany.
And, what do you know? The coffee stayed in my kitchen.
As I was walking from the parking lot to the bus stop in Schenectady, I had a fantasy where Evil drives up in her mini-van with my long lost cup of coffee in her wonderful little hands, "Here honey, you left this full aromatic cup of coffee on the kitchen counter. I knew you'd want it and forgot it, so I brought it to you."
"Thank you darling, you're the best thing that every happened to me," I'd reply, deliriously.
That didn't happen. Instead, that "special needs" guy got off his bus, gave me a hug, and proceeded to tell me all about how one of his neighbors didn't play her music too loud last night and how happy he is over that fact.
I couldn't keep my eyes off his Orlando Bloom calendar. You know, if I were a rabid fan of Orlando Bloom, I wouldn't carry his calendar around in public. I'd put it in a wrapper. Not only that, but I wouldn't put a calendar of Orlando Bloom in my office and tell people it was my calendar.
Don't get me wrong, I like Orlando Bloom -- just not enough to have a calendar of his that I would claim as my own. Now, I could definitely go for a Claudia Black calendar. Yeah. You won't see Claudia Black and Orlando Bloom mentioned in the same sentence often.
Ever notice men don't often use smiley-faces in their writing? I think I'm correct in this, but I don't believe a man has ever written to me and put a smiley-face on his message. Women do, but not men.
Men use icon-smiley-faces in their instant messages. I avoid doing that, but my co-worker uses smiley's a lot in his IM's to me. The practice is rubbing off on me. I actually used one yesterday.
However, I didn't hand draw a smiley. I believe there is an unwritten "rule of manhood" that says, "Don't Draw Smiley's. It's not manly-man."
With that, I'll leave you now. I need to sing the "Man Song" for a bit. The "Man Song" goes:
Men, men, men men
Men, men, men, men
Men, men, men, men
Men, men, men, men
(repeat the chorus)
---Dan---
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Safely Home
We made it home from Chicago safely.
Barb drove the whole way there and back. As Evil Overlord, she reserves the right to be in charge of the car at all times. I just passengered. Passengered is a new verb I just invented.
We had to use her car too. We couldn't use mine. My car is bigger, has more leg room, and is a four-wheel-drive. You'd think traveling from NY to Chicago in the winter in a 4x4 would have its appeal. But... alas... we were relegated to the mini-van.
Evil enjoys the mini-van versus my Expedition. You see, Evil's mini-van does, in fact, have more luggage space and is almost as comfortable as my Expedition. Evil doesn't like driving my car.
Evil is as Evil does.
We have more snow here than we had in Chicago. Of course, that may have changed in Chicago since we left. The last few hours of our drive from Chicago involved somewhat heavy snow fall. Hence, my Overlord had to drive at 45 mph versus 65 mph.
We missed NewYear's eve at our house. The digital clock in our dash turned 12:00 am for us somewhere between Syracuse and Albany.
I'll try to write MORE frequently with LESS info. That way, at least I'll write SOMETHING. Gah. I can't believe how long it's been since my last post.
Let's see... anything else?
Sci Fi Friday starts tomorrow! Whoo hoo!
Barb drove the whole way there and back. As Evil Overlord, she reserves the right to be in charge of the car at all times. I just passengered. Passengered is a new verb I just invented.
We had to use her car too. We couldn't use mine. My car is bigger, has more leg room, and is a four-wheel-drive. You'd think traveling from NY to Chicago in the winter in a 4x4 would have its appeal. But... alas... we were relegated to the mini-van.
Evil enjoys the mini-van versus my Expedition. You see, Evil's mini-van does, in fact, have more luggage space and is almost as comfortable as my Expedition. Evil doesn't like driving my car.
Evil is as Evil does.
We have more snow here than we had in Chicago. Of course, that may have changed in Chicago since we left. The last few hours of our drive from Chicago involved somewhat heavy snow fall. Hence, my Overlord had to drive at 45 mph versus 65 mph.
We missed NewYear's eve at our house. The digital clock in our dash turned 12:00 am for us somewhere between Syracuse and Albany.
I'll try to write MORE frequently with LESS info. That way, at least I'll write SOMETHING. Gah. I can't believe how long it's been since my last post.
Let's see... anything else?
Sci Fi Friday starts tomorrow! Whoo hoo!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)