At work, I open the door with this 1980's technology slider card. I mean, we went to proximity cards at Microsoft in the mid-90's and that was late. Amici had proximity cards when I got there, but here at the bank, we're still in the 80's per door technology.
Regardless, the door usually opens on the second or third try, so I'm fairly happy. I think some kind of super-duper magnet holds the door closed. You can't jerk the doors open. Those magnets are powerful!
I've never had a door "lock" on me going out. I get near it, the motion detector does its job, and I am able to leave. Not in all the many years I've been using magnetically sealed doors have I been sealed in.
I think that's pretty good. Door technology must be fairly mature. You never hear about door technology. Who writes, like in the Wall Street Journal or something, about the latest breakthroughs in door technology. "Nobel Scientist, Robert Smarts, invented a new door mechanism...." You just don't see that.
Why not? What makes door technology so mundane and uninteresting? Who, in fact, works on door engineering? I've never met a door engineer, "Hi, I'm Ben and I work for an engineering firm making magnets for doors...." Where are they?
Bekah had a tooth pulled yesterday. It was an infected baby-tooth with an abscess. They're going to have to put in a spacer for the adult tooth to have a place to grow. We had a orthodontist examine Bekah last week. She's gonna need a lot of work.
They told us to feed her ice cream last night. I think she enjoyed going hog-wild with ice cream for once. However, Bekah can't use a straw or spit. Why can't you spit or suck through a straw when you have a tooth extracted? That seems strange to me.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Stupid Blogspot
I just spent 20 min writing a nice post, and it's gone. Apparently, you can't spell-check without losing your entire stupid post.
What a waste of time.
What a waste of time.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Bulldog Barb
My wife, Barb, is an avid Sudoku puzzle solver. She can solve even the very hard Sudoku puzzles. I can't. I can only solve the easy ones. After that, when you have to guess, I get confused. Was that a 5 or a 7 I was thinking might go in that spot? I always guess wrong and end up erasing half the sheet and getting lost. Now, where was I?
Barb, on the other hand, is like a bulldog. She sits in her chair and pencils in the numbers. Barb has a system. She developed it herself. The system involves trial and error, but it works. She gets the Sudoku's solved. I have to go online and print out the Daily Sudoku for Barb every day now.
Barb's stubborn like a bulldog. I think I'll call her Bulldog Barb for a while. I still might use the term Evil Overlord to describe her. Perhaps I'll intermix the two terms. When Barb is being stubborn (which happens frequently), I'll call her Bulldog Barb or just Bulldog.
When Barb's being evil, I'll call her The Evil Overlord or just Evil.
Truthfully, Barb's not as evil as she once was. I think I might be slipping and sliding over to The Dark Side and getting used to Evil. Regardless, I'm thinking Barb is less evil than in the past. Perhaps, Evil-Lite, or Low-Calorie Evil, or "I Can't Believe It's Not Evil" Evil.
Bobby (Bob) is growing out his hair. Bulldog tells me my neice mentioned that she thinks guys with really short hair look bad. Now Bobby is growing his hair. He doesn't really know what he's going to do with his h air, yet. Bobby's hair doesn't do too well semi-long. His hair grows straight out, so now instead of having neat, short hair, he has a "monkey head".
Anyway, my monkey-headed son has been getting up early in the morning to shower. Apparently, Bobby's aware his head can become monkey-like if he's slept on it, so he showers before school. Personally, I think he's going to lose the battle.
Perhaps, I'll toss Bob a banana tonight when I see him.
Evil pulled a good trick last night. She called me on my way home. She'd not gone out all day, so we were out of milk. Likewise, I needed to stop at my mom's house and pick up some beef stew my mom had made. I think the Sudoku was extra-hard yesterday.
I stopped at Mommy's and got my stew and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I called my step-fater, Ralph, "ugly" and left. I went by Stewarts and picked up two gallons of 1% milk. Milk is only $2.19 at Stewarts -- about the cheapest around these parts. Plus, if you buy five gallons of milk, you get a half-gallon of milk or orange juice for free. I usually get either chocolate milk or orange juice.
When I got home, I found Monkey-Head-Boy laying in his bed. He planned to take a nap and get up and do his homework. I told him we had beef stew and lasagna for dinner. He said, "Mom made beef stew?"
"No, you grandmother did. And my sister made the lasagna. Don't you just love living near my family?"
I know I do.
Barb, on the other hand, is like a bulldog. She sits in her chair and pencils in the numbers. Barb has a system. She developed it herself. The system involves trial and error, but it works. She gets the Sudoku's solved. I have to go online and print out the Daily Sudoku for Barb every day now.
Barb's stubborn like a bulldog. I think I'll call her Bulldog Barb for a while. I still might use the term Evil Overlord to describe her. Perhaps I'll intermix the two terms. When Barb is being stubborn (which happens frequently), I'll call her Bulldog Barb or just Bulldog.
When Barb's being evil, I'll call her The Evil Overlord or just Evil.
Truthfully, Barb's not as evil as she once was. I think I might be slipping and sliding over to The Dark Side and getting used to Evil. Regardless, I'm thinking Barb is less evil than in the past. Perhaps, Evil-Lite, or Low-Calorie Evil, or "I Can't Believe It's Not Evil" Evil.
Bobby (Bob) is growing out his hair. Bulldog tells me my neice mentioned that she thinks guys with really short hair look bad. Now Bobby is growing his hair. He doesn't really know what he's going to do with his h air, yet. Bobby's hair doesn't do too well semi-long. His hair grows straight out, so now instead of having neat, short hair, he has a "monkey head".
Anyway, my monkey-headed son has been getting up early in the morning to shower. Apparently, Bobby's aware his head can become monkey-like if he's slept on it, so he showers before school. Personally, I think he's going to lose the battle.
Perhaps, I'll toss Bob a banana tonight when I see him.
Evil pulled a good trick last night. She called me on my way home. She'd not gone out all day, so we were out of milk. Likewise, I needed to stop at my mom's house and pick up some beef stew my mom had made. I think the Sudoku was extra-hard yesterday.
I stopped at Mommy's and got my stew and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I called my step-fater, Ralph, "ugly" and left. I went by Stewarts and picked up two gallons of 1% milk. Milk is only $2.19 at Stewarts -- about the cheapest around these parts. Plus, if you buy five gallons of milk, you get a half-gallon of milk or orange juice for free. I usually get either chocolate milk or orange juice.
When I got home, I found Monkey-Head-Boy laying in his bed. He planned to take a nap and get up and do his homework. I told him we had beef stew and lasagna for dinner. He said, "Mom made beef stew?"
"No, you grandmother did. And my sister made the lasagna. Don't you just love living near my family?"
I know I do.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Dangerous Deodorant and Duct Tape
Saturday night my son, Bob, asks me, "Dad, where's the duct tape?"
"What do you need duct tape for?"
"I'll tell you later. Where is it please?"
"I don't know. Try...." and I listed a bunch of places to try. Bob looked and looked. Normally, Bob isn't this interested in home repair items. Likewise, Bob's interest seemed "intense".
Bob finally found the duct tape because he stopped bothering me over it. I saw the tape in his bedroom the next morning.
That afternoon, I asked Bob, "Why did you need this duct tape?"
"I don't really want to tell you."
Ben pipes in, "Let me tell, let me tell!"
"Okay," says the Bob-meister.
"Well, Dad, you see Bobby got mad at me for winning a game of Star Wars: Empire at War, so he threw his deodorant at the wall. The deodorant hit the side of the wall with a glancing blow and smashed into the window. Bobby broke the window here, see?"
Ben pulled up the blinds and there, staring me in the face, was a large patch of duct tape holding the bedroom window together. I'd say the size is about 8" by 10". Yeah.
I look at Bob and laugh and laugh. He grins and says, "The room was getting really cold, so I had to tape it fast!"
I just kept laughing.
Generally, your children will destroy your possessions. Destroyed things are part and parcel for having kids. You have kids, your good stuff will break.
The Irish Wolfhound folks say you can expect to pay, in replacement parts and bits, the same amount of money you paid for your dog. For example, if you paid $1,500 for an Irish Wolfhound puppy, you'll spend another $1,500 replacing chewed remote controls, shoes, etc. A full grown Irish Wolfhound can reach the top of your refrigerator, so nothing's safe.
I suppose with kids, it's about the same. However, in all fairness, I don't recall Bob ever breaking anything before. Likewise, I didn't know Mennen™ brand Speed Stick™ deodorant could be a dangerous projectile in the hands of an irate 17-year old boy.
Who knew?
I suppose if I ever do get around to replacing this window -- which faces the back of the house and no one will ever see -- it'll cost me about $150.00. In the meantime, I'm in no hurry to spend the cash and the boys are fine with a duct taped window.
Duct tape really is an amazing thing.
"What do you need duct tape for?"
"I'll tell you later. Where is it please?"
"I don't know. Try...." and I listed a bunch of places to try. Bob looked and looked. Normally, Bob isn't this interested in home repair items. Likewise, Bob's interest seemed "intense".
Bob finally found the duct tape because he stopped bothering me over it. I saw the tape in his bedroom the next morning.
That afternoon, I asked Bob, "Why did you need this duct tape?"
"I don't really want to tell you."
Ben pipes in, "Let me tell, let me tell!"
"Okay," says the Bob-meister.
"Well, Dad, you see Bobby got mad at me for winning a game of Star Wars: Empire at War, so he threw his deodorant at the wall. The deodorant hit the side of the wall with a glancing blow and smashed into the window. Bobby broke the window here, see?"
Ben pulled up the blinds and there, staring me in the face, was a large patch of duct tape holding the bedroom window together. I'd say the size is about 8" by 10". Yeah.
I look at Bob and laugh and laugh. He grins and says, "The room was getting really cold, so I had to tape it fast!"
I just kept laughing.
Generally, your children will destroy your possessions. Destroyed things are part and parcel for having kids. You have kids, your good stuff will break.
The Irish Wolfhound folks say you can expect to pay, in replacement parts and bits, the same amount of money you paid for your dog. For example, if you paid $1,500 for an Irish Wolfhound puppy, you'll spend another $1,500 replacing chewed remote controls, shoes, etc. A full grown Irish Wolfhound can reach the top of your refrigerator, so nothing's safe.
I suppose with kids, it's about the same. However, in all fairness, I don't recall Bob ever breaking anything before. Likewise, I didn't know Mennen™ brand Speed Stick™ deodorant could be a dangerous projectile in the hands of an irate 17-year old boy.
Who knew?
I suppose if I ever do get around to replacing this window -- which faces the back of the house and no one will ever see -- it'll cost me about $150.00. In the meantime, I'm in no hurry to spend the cash and the boys are fine with a duct taped window.
Duct tape really is an amazing thing.
Friday, March 17, 2006
Star Wars: Empire At War
So, I got this new PC-based video game: Star Wars: Empire At War.
It's pretty cool. I think the game AI needs some upgrades, but overall, it's a very nice game.
The moment I installed it, my son Ben was begging me to play him in a battle. He bought the game a couple weeks before I did.
We played. Ben wiped the floor with me. Bobby tried to play for me, but then it was Bobby playing not me. So, my 12-year old son beat the snot out of me in a video game.
Sometimes, life just isn't fair.
I'm going to actually learn how to play the game and beat Ben to a quivering, boneless pulp in the near future. You just watch me.
Some chick calls for Bobby about three weekends ago. She's like, "Hello, is Bob there."
I'm like, "Barb?"
"Bob"
"Oh, Bobby!"
I just can't stop calling him Bobby even though his voice is pretty deep now. Bob's voice has been deep for a long time. Ben's voice is just starting to crack now. I can remember when my voice changed. I was about 14-years old.
I remember my step-sister Bonnie called us on the phone. I answered and made sure to use my new deep-voice when I learned it was Bonnie. My mom laughed at me. Laugh all you will Mommy, but I'm a old man now who's had this deep voice for like 30-years now. Mwa haa haa!
Ben's voice is cracking and he's starting to get a bit tall. I'm sure he hasn't hit his major growth period yet. Of course, as Bekah keeps informing us on a regular basis, she's going though a growth spurt. Hence, whenever Bekah's hungry, it's because of the growth spurt. Nevermind if she didn't eat well at dinner or just wants a snack.
It's pretty cool. I think the game AI needs some upgrades, but overall, it's a very nice game.
The moment I installed it, my son Ben was begging me to play him in a battle. He bought the game a couple weeks before I did.
We played. Ben wiped the floor with me. Bobby tried to play for me, but then it was Bobby playing not me. So, my 12-year old son beat the snot out of me in a video game.
Sometimes, life just isn't fair.
I'm going to actually learn how to play the game and beat Ben to a quivering, boneless pulp in the near future. You just watch me.
Some chick calls for Bobby about three weekends ago. She's like, "Hello, is Bob there."
I'm like, "Barb?"
"Bob"
"Oh, Bobby!"
I just can't stop calling him Bobby even though his voice is pretty deep now. Bob's voice has been deep for a long time. Ben's voice is just starting to crack now. I can remember when my voice changed. I was about 14-years old.
I remember my step-sister Bonnie called us on the phone. I answered and made sure to use my new deep-voice when I learned it was Bonnie. My mom laughed at me. Laugh all you will Mommy, but I'm a old man now who's had this deep voice for like 30-years now. Mwa haa haa!
Ben's voice is cracking and he's starting to get a bit tall. I'm sure he hasn't hit his major growth period yet. Of course, as Bekah keeps informing us on a regular basis, she's going though a growth spurt. Hence, whenever Bekah's hungry, it's because of the growth spurt. Nevermind if she didn't eat well at dinner or just wants a snack.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
I Bite The Cheese
Bekah, my 7-year old, had to use up her spelling words in a story. She chose to write about our house:
My house is big and white. When my friends come over to visit, they always smile.
I love to play in my house. It is a nice house. I bite the cheese.
Apparently, Bekah had the words "bite" and "cheese" left over and decided to add to her story.
We now use the term when you have nothing else to say. Instead of SuperCaliFragilisticExpiAllaDocious, it's much easier to yell out, "I bite the cheese!"
Happy biting.
My house is big and white. When my friends come over to visit, they always smile.
I love to play in my house. It is a nice house. I bite the cheese.
Apparently, Bekah had the words "bite" and "cheese" left over and decided to add to her story.
We now use the term when you have nothing else to say. Instead of SuperCaliFragilisticExpiAllaDocious, it's much easier to yell out, "I bite the cheese!"
Happy biting.
Paint Dry
I know, waiting for me to update my blog is like watching paint dry.
Well, the thing is, I've just not *felt* like adding anything to my blog lately.
Let's see:
1. I got a new job at a bank. I'm a systems analyst now. I was a software developer, but this new job has some definite points over the old:
a. The mimimum work week is 40 hours instead of 50 hours.
b. I get paid a lot more money than I made before.
c. Retirement benefits here are much, much better.
d. Much less stressful work environment.
2. Bekah's been going through a big growth spurt. How do I know? She told me. We stopped a Burger King™ a few days ago to get Brittany a salad and shake. I bought Ben and Bekah each an Icee™ drink. I got myself a jumbo-sized chocolate shake.
We'd just had dinner about an hour earlier, but Brittany had missed it. As we pulled out, Bekah whined, "Why didn't you get me any fries, dad? I'm hungry."
"You just had dinner!"
"I'm going through a growth spurt. I need a lot of food."
So, I pulled into KFC™ and got her some potato wedges and myself and Ben a KFC Snaker™.
Don't you like all my TMs?™
3. I had a very interesting conversation with my son Bob the other day. He was filling out his course requests for next year in High School. He'll be a Senior™ (I just felt like putting a TM there for no particular reason).
Anyway, I told Bob to "take it easy" his senior year. Don't over do it son. Take as *few* classes as possible to graduate. You'll be able to pick up classes in college, etc.
So, what does my disobedient son do? He signs up for 6.5 credits instead of the minimum 5.5! Not only that, but he specifically writes a letter to the head of the English department and asks to be part of the AP English class! Not only that, but he signs up to take the highest level Math class available.
We had this conversation the next day, "I'm sorry dad. I signed up for more classes than I needed."
I'm like, "I never expected to have my son apologize to me for taking too many classes in High School."
Well, the thing is, I've just not *felt* like adding anything to my blog lately.
Let's see:
1. I got a new job at a bank. I'm a systems analyst now. I was a software developer, but this new job has some definite points over the old:
a. The mimimum work week is 40 hours instead of 50 hours.
b. I get paid a lot more money than I made before.
c. Retirement benefits here are much, much better.
d. Much less stressful work environment.
2. Bekah's been going through a big growth spurt. How do I know? She told me. We stopped a Burger King™ a few days ago to get Brittany a salad and shake. I bought Ben and Bekah each an Icee™ drink. I got myself a jumbo-sized chocolate shake.
We'd just had dinner about an hour earlier, but Brittany had missed it. As we pulled out, Bekah whined, "Why didn't you get me any fries, dad? I'm hungry."
"You just had dinner!"
"I'm going through a growth spurt. I need a lot of food."
So, I pulled into KFC™ and got her some potato wedges and myself and Ben a KFC Snaker™.
Don't you like all my TMs?™
3. I had a very interesting conversation with my son Bob the other day. He was filling out his course requests for next year in High School. He'll be a Senior™ (I just felt like putting a TM there for no particular reason).
Anyway, I told Bob to "take it easy" his senior year. Don't over do it son. Take as *few* classes as possible to graduate. You'll be able to pick up classes in college, etc.
So, what does my disobedient son do? He signs up for 6.5 credits instead of the minimum 5.5! Not only that, but he specifically writes a letter to the head of the English department and asks to be part of the AP English class! Not only that, but he signs up to take the highest level Math class available.
We had this conversation the next day, "I'm sorry dad. I signed up for more classes than I needed."
I'm like, "I never expected to have my son apologize to me for taking too many classes in High School."
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