"Come Look At This Bug"

So, I'm sitting downstairs on my computer, minding my own business and playing a video game (Shattered Galaxy at www.sgalaxy.com) and I hear these words from my wife:

"Dan, can you come upstairs and look at a bug?"

These are ominous words. First, I ask you, what does it mean to "look at a bug?" You and I both know she wanted me to kill the bug. Why she didn't ask me to "come upstairs and kill this big bug." I don't know.

Perhaps my wife considered the bug worth looking at before I killed it. However, I find it highly unlikely I'd not look the bug before killing it. Generally, I feel, most people will look at bugs before squashing them -- even if it's just for the fact they can't actually successfully squash anything without having visual confirmation of the thing's location.

I know if I don't get off my happy and lazy buttocks and walk upstairs, I'll have an unhappy wife. Unhappy wife, unhappy life.

Hence, I move my large and ample rear out of my comfy gaming chair and waddle upstairs. There, I find my wife waiting for me with a large wad of toilet paper in hand.

Of course, she wants me to kill the bug. I knew this wasn't just a googly-eyed expedition to view a bug. It was a bug killing expedition.

I wonder, though. As far as the bug's concerned. Wouldn't you think my wife and I are both giants of about the same size? Do you think that our difference in size matters for bug killing? I don't think so. We're both gi-normous compared to the bug. Either of us can kill said same bug with equal ease, I think.

Therefore, I ponder the need to get me out of my comfortable gaming position to walk upstairs to view a bug and thereafter slay same bug. My wife's pretty brave, overall, but for some reason she's decided that bug killing is *my* responsibility.

I looked at the bug. It was indeed a large bug. Almost an inch in length. My wife asked me what kind of bug I thought it was. I said I didn't know -- which is true. I don't have all the bugs in the world memorized.

I squished it. I then threw the bug, toilet paper and all, into the toilet (the bug was in the upstairs bathroom).

My revenge, on my whole family, is I didn't flush. I was gonna let the next person to have to use the toilet see that dead bug floating in the water. Mwa haa haa.